I won't even try to sugar coat it, I had a rough week last week. I was beating myself up for days over my shortcomings. I felt like I was blocking myself and being too controlling. I had this unrealistic idea that when I fully let go and surrendered, then everything would melt away and life would be perfect.
Why wasn't I there yet? Welcome to my pity party!
A good friend was kind enough to help me out at 1 am and through her energy work session, I felt so much release and clarity. I want to share this with you today, but it's a doozy so get comfy!
As my fear lifted and I started to settle into this new energy, I began to feel like a little hippie buddha. Suddenly!! I was hit with so much belief and love. Not just in myself, but in YOU. Yes! YOU!
I was dreaming and I saw a message that you are born with a gift. Society often doesn't nurture those gifts because we are all expected to fit into the same little boring box so many of us diminish our gifts over time. You do have gifts. You are special. You are here on this planet for a purpose. You are amazing. No, you are absolutely freaking amazing.
In my dreams, I was given these messages and I want to relay them to you in case it is something you need to hear.
What this all comes down to is the fact that we build our reality in our minds. What we think about ourselves, we build. What others think about us, they build largely based on their view of their own reality and it has nothing to do with us! But we may accept what they think and bring it into our own story.
What we create in fear will never let us feel like we have enough talent, money, certificates, love, worth, experience, safety, respect, acceptance, etc.
For years, I kept thinking that I need more knowledge, more certificates, more mentors... but I have done amazing things on my own. I have cured my "incurable" autoimmune disease. I have survived and overcome rape. I have healed a difficult childhood. It took a friend to sit me down and shake me to wake up.
My friend said, "You don't even see what you've done. You dismiss your accomplishments!"
I replied, "I feel badly talking about it because so many people suffer through these things every day and work so hard to overcome, and I did it so quickly."
She said, "I want to slap you right now. You did MIRACLES. You were able to do them because you were using your GIFTS as a healer and you were doing the work from your heart! It wasn't luck or hard work because you surrendered to the outcome! Don't you see it!?"
It was like she was shaking me from inside the computer screen. But I did see it. I saw that I minimized myself and my experience in my own head. The truth was that I healed those things through surrender. The very thing I claimed that I didn't have enough of this week, allowed me to heal myself and others many, many, many times before. And here I am complaining about it! The very thing that gave me miracles!
It's been said that all we need is faith as small as a mustard seed, right? But I was looking for a fully matured 9,000-acre forest! I just needed a seed! I already had seeds! But I was so focused on having a big lush forest that I didn't even see it!!
You may think "Oh I haven't done anything amazing yet" or "I don't even have a seed" but that is what you tell yourself. It's a story. A limiting belief. You have created amazing things, you have overcome, and you have the capacity to do even more amazing things! And there have been moments in your life that you had a seed of faith in something. Faith in another person. Faith in yourself. Faith that all things would be okay. You are capable of surrender and I bet you've done it before!
If you feel like you haven't done enough, if you are comparing yourself to others, or if you are beating yourself up, then I bet you are undermining yourself just like I did.
The truth is that we all have everything we need inside of us. We don't need more books or more experience. You are already ready to walk your path and you may already be walking it, but do you see it? You have been ready. You just have to believe it.
And here is the kicker: when we believe, we surrender. We cannot surrender without belief. And if you don't believe it yet, I believe in you. Let my seed of faith in you start to blossom and create something amazing in your life until you find your own seeds.